Managing profits

“There will be impacts. But everything is monitored so we can manage it well ahead of time if there is any impact.” Ross Dunn, Queensland coal seam gas manager for the Australian Petroleum Production and Exploration Association, responding to concerns about environmental damage from coal seam gas mining.

That’ll teach ’em!

“A tough penalty” – A spokesperson for the US Environmental Protection Agency, on a US$25 million fine against BP for spilling more than 5000 barrels of oil in Alaska. The fine is about one-third of 1% of BP’s first quarter 2011 profits of US$7.2 billion.

Ensuring loyalty

“A Qantas spokeswoman said the airline has a practice of rewarding its customers for their loyalty, including politicians.” – Sydney Sun-Herald, May 15, reporting that Qantas has given federal ALP and opposition politicians iPads, bottles of Penfolds Grange and first-class upgrades.

Barefoot soldiers?

“We do not have boots on the ground in Libya.” – A NATO spokesperson, responding to reports that Britain has 40 military officers in Libya, “advising” the rebels and spotting targets for air attacks.

Anxious about something

“My anxiety with this is that it may end up being counterproductive in practice.” – Federal Liberal leader Tony Abbott, on legislation requiring plain packaging of cigarettes. The Liberals accept donations from tobacco companies.

In other words, it doesn’t work

“The number of problems we have experienced compares favourably to other information system implementations of similar size and complexity.” – A Defence Department spokesperson on its computerised system for keeping track of equipment, which is two years behind schedule and still has 250 “active problems”.

Anyone specific in mind?

“To speak Chinese is not to know China.” – Geoff Raby, Australia’s ambassador to China.